I Am New

Now I won’t deny the worst you could say about me

But I’m not defined by mistakes that I’ve made because God says of me

I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new

I am chosen and holy and I’m dearly loved, I am new, I am new

Who I thought I was and who I thought I had to be

I had to give them both up cause neither were willing to ever believe

Too long I have lived in the shadows of shame

Believing that there was no way I could change

But the one who is making everything new doesn’t see me the way that I do

He doesn’t see me the way that I do

I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new

Dead to the old man, I’m coming alive, I am new, I am new

Forgiven beloved, hidden in Christ

Made in the image of the Giver of Life

Righteous and holy, reborn and remade and worthy; this is our new name.

This is who we are now

_______________________________________

Y'all, if I could pick simply one song that hits home the very most, it would be this very song. Jason Gray beautifully describes the concept of a Christian's identity in Christ, something I struggle to accept at times. In all honest, establishing and accepting my identity in Christ has been one of the biggest battles of my Christian walk.

I love that this song says, "I'm coming alive," because it is such a grand reminder to me of progressive sanctification and God's grace. No, I am not perfect. In fact, I am far from perfect, but I am still new and still coming alive. 

Another concept of this song that simply cannot be missed is that, as Christians, we are "hidden in Christ." So many beautiful mental images come to mind when I consider this blessing and reality of the Christian life. We are hidden in Christ, like a mother comforts and shelters a newborn in her arms, as a lion would protects its cub. We are covered in Him. Y'all...He's got us. We are hidden in Him.

Let that resonate in your heart and mind.

Next time you feel alone, insecure, or unsure - take heart and remember that you are new, reborn, hidden in Christ Himself.

Beloved, we have been renamed. 

Here's Why...

Christ August's song (featured below) 7X70 stopped me in my tracks.
This song talks a lot about hurt within the family, trials, burdens, et cetera.
But more than that, it's about what we are called to do with all of that...
let forgiveness make a way.
It's not easy. In fact it's hard, down right difficult.


Can I tell you something about forgiveness?
It is freeing.
I know this not because I am an expert at forgiveness, in fact, I might even say it is an area of weakness.
I don't handle pain well. In fact, I run from it,
but the times where I have surrendered and forgiven, truly forgiven, I have experienced healing.
Maybe that's why this song hit home - knowing the truth about forgiveness, yet having practiced it so infrequently.


As Christians, we are called to a radical life of self abandonment.
I was reminded that forgiveness is both of those things: radical and selfless.
I am called to remember what was done for me at Calvary and take that overflow of love and spread it all around.


Forgiveness.
I want to take the 7X70 journey in my life, join me?

7X70

Yup, He's Still News Worthy

Check This Out:

I cannot count the number of times I have visited CNN over the years, reading articles that have made me read in the face, leaving discouraged at the declining morality of America and other nations.

However, this time, I left CNN amazed and encouraged.

Right after returning from Passion 2011, I got word that there was an article about the conference on CNN. 

After reading the article, I was so thrilled, not because the article was right on target with the Passion Movement. 

In fact, I do not believe it was. The article focused more on the numbers, the speakers, the bands, the glitz and glam. 

I was thrilled because of the quote of a man who gets it, Louis Giglio. 

Louis told the reporter "Church was never meant to be an island of self-indulgence, but a missional community of Jesus-followers so in love with Him that they can do nothing else but carry His name to the world."

See that is just the thing, the commonality between the 22,000 Christ followers that attended the conference, the link between all of those who gave at the 'Go Center,' the bond shared between teens and twenty-somethings: a love, a passionate and zealous love, for Jesus Christ.

That love spurns us to carry His name and whether CNN realizes it or not, that article helped do that, because I have to believe that maybe even just one person read that article and decided to register for next years conference, maybe even just to figure out what all the 'hoopla' is about.

I pray that they come, that they hear, and they experience the Passion.

However, more than that, I pray that all 22,000 of us GO. That we take that Passion, that love, and we carry His name to the ends of the Earth. That is my hearts cry. 

That is my Passion.

Tears and Target

Today, I cried. Right in the middle of Target.

Target of all places!

Call me crazy, maybe I am, I was simply overwhelmed. 

Overwhelmed by God. His sovereignty, His goodness.

Let me explain.

I'm not sure I've fully conveyed how much so the Lord's hand of guidance and provision has been upon my college search process. It is simply breathtaking to me.

As I abandoned my dream of going to the school I fell in love with over the summer, Samford University, because of the daunting financial aspect, I reasoned my way right outside of God's will.

In fact, I enrolled at a school that is absolutely amazing, wonderful, and Christ-focused, but not where the Lord is leading me for my college career.

The doors began to close, or should I say slam.

I had door after door after door forcefully shut right in my face.

Midway through my senior year, having only applied to one school, I felt like a lost puppy dog in a big mess. I fell prostrate on my bedroom floor night after night...after night.

I was broken and confused, but the sovereign Lord wanted me to bring my burdens to Him, and after quite some time I finally did, and when I finally handed the situation over to the Lord, the most glorious thing happened, I was able to watch Him work! 

I knew that I would have to begin applying other places as I took it to the Lord in prayer day after day. So in faith, I sent out a couple applications, the first of which was to Samford. I did not know why in the world, because it was too expensive, too far out of my reach...but not God's.

Within a couple weeks I received a YES from Samford and heard not a word from any of the other schools, in fact I still have not. As I began to seek the Lord's guidance about the financial aspect of it, I stumbled across a couple scholarships that really caught my eye.

One was entitled the Presidential Scholarship for academic achievements, worth up to full tuition and the other entitled the Premin Scholars Program.

The later of the two captured my heart in essence. This program is specifically designed for people called to the ministry, to strengthen and support them in their call. I discovered this scholarship the week the deadline was approaching and submitted my materials just in time.

A couple months went by and the greatest news EVER came.

I received letters within a couple weeks of each other saying that I had been selected as a candidate for BOTH scholarships! 

From there it has been a whirlwind...I have traveled to Alabama twice in the last month, interviewed, done writing assessments, met with professors, had dinner with the president, and I could go on. 

Honestly some of the most nerve wracking and exciting experiences of my life.

Well, this weekend I heard back that I received both the Premin and the Presidential Scholarship!

PRAISE HIM. Oh my goodness y'all, my neighbors must know that I got the news because my vocal chords have never reached such a high pitch shrill. 

Then, for the cherry on top, the Lord answered my very very very fervent prayers about the roommate situation (all in the same weekend might I add). The girl who I had been in contact with the past couple months just received a scholarship this past week as well that will allow her to attend Samford next year so we have both agreed to enter this next exciting chapter as roommates. Our prayer is that as two girls seeking to know the Lord's heart, we might grow and learn together, while striving for His glory.

Hence the tears in Target. I don't know why then or there, but all of this just hit like a tidal wave.

Y'all God is good. Don't forget it!

Hearts of Gold

Kitty Lion decided to take up philanthropy.

I should be excited, but some days it is hard. Why? I am constantly reminded of how selfish humans are, not excluding myself.

I ask for a dollar to go towards children with disabilities, and the man on his second alcohol run for the day, ringing in a whopping $120, looks at me as if I have just asked him to hand over what's left of his 401K.

Give. Me. A. Break.

I shall step off my soap box now to tell you of a story that touched my heart beyond measure :) 

A man came through my line mid-way through my shift. There was nothing out of the ordinary about him, except for the fact that when I asked him if he would like to donate a dollar, he responded with an excited "yes!" The first "yes" of the day, might I add. Not only that, he pulled out his wallet to see just how much cash he had to donate.

Three dollars. He gave all the cash he had, with a very generous heart. 

Then it came time to ring up his groceries. He told me he would be paying with an EBT card, but as soon as he uttered the words, a warning sign flashed across my screen that he card had been declined.

Long story short, after trying every other card in his wallet and having them all declined, and calling his wife to see if she had any money, a very embarrassed and defeated man walked out of my store without his food.

Before he left, I asked him if he would like his cash back, from his donation.

He looked at me as if I had lost my mind and said, "no honey, that is for the kids."

My heart broke for him. 

I wanted to run after him and tell him to forget the impatient and ruthless customers that stood behind him huffing and puffing for ten minutes, forget the embarrassment he had just experienced, forget it all, because if He knows the Lord as His personal savior, He will inherit the Earth one day!

Hearts of gold. They are rare, but they exist. In my opinion, that man was a fine example.

So as customer after customer came through my line, fulfilling their every momentary want and need by the world's standards, I was reminded of the man who left seemingly empty handed that day, but with the type of attitude Christ would have embraced.

He gave all he had.

So I ask you the same question I asked myself, what do I have to give?

Life as a Food Kitty Cashier

I know I haven't mentioned much about it yet, but I prayed that when the Lord finally granted me the blessing of finding a job this year, that I would have His eyes throughout the entire process and upon actually doing whatever task He set before me.

I truly believe He has been faithful to answer that prayer.

Never would I have guessed it, but the Lord has used this new job of mine to teach me countless lessons of the faith. I leave work sometimes absolutely stunned at the world we live in, and not for the reasons I would have suspected. I leave shocked because people are hurting, people are seeking, dying, crying, and trying to make it another day. Yet Christians, myself included, wander around within the beautiful church walls wondering where the people who need ministering to are?

I found 'em. You'll find them too! Open your eyes, that's what God told me to do. 

One of the most recent encounters I had was with a man who could not have been but in his early forties. He looked rather gloom and doom, buying a case of wine, and sulking through my line. 

When I asked him how his night was going, he stopped dead on, like a deer in headlights. I wondered if He could sense I was praying for him, something must have been bugging him.

The man looked at me and said, "not so good. Actually, I just wish I was young like you so that I could go back and do it all over again."

Here I am with five seconds in between him and the next customer, wanting to tell him all the days I wasted wanting yesterday back, finding out it was fruitless.

So I simply looked him straight in the eye and said, "Sir, you cannot have yesterday back, but you have tomorrow."

He looked as if he might break and he told me that I was "quite wise for someone my age."

And I told him the truth of the matter, that "I am actually quite unwise, but God is wise and sovereign above all else."

I'm not sure what ran through that man's mind as he walked out of 'Food Kitty' (my affectionate nickname) that night. Good or bad, there is a lesson for us all in that conversation.

Time is one of the most valuable resources God has given mankind.

The devil came to steal, kill, and destroy, in ways that we might not even fathom.

I argue that regret is a way that the devil steals and destroys that valuable time we have.

We are human, living in the past will get us nothing more than another wasted day, another wasted moment. Yet time is short and opportunities seldom. Do not let the devil feed you lie after lie, telling you that you are nothing more than a product of your past mistakes.

Listen to God's loving voice. 

When you do, you'll hear Him whisper things like...

"My mercies are new every morning..."

"I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you a hope and a future..."

Live in victory, live in and for Him!

Lovers Day

As Valentins Day came back around this year, it played out much differently than ever before.
Typically, many hours of moping and self pity would have been brought to a conclusion by the annual family trip out for a quick dinner. I always wanted to tack a big 'lame' sticker across my forehead and crawl in a corner. 
Not so this year.
Something was very different. No moping or sad songs for me. 
As I have begun to turn my eyes towards Christ and towards my Abba Father for love and fulfillment, I have found the deepest, most fulfilling love that I had never known. 
I stood in Food Lion having to play the role of 'promotions girl' for the day. Ironic. A seven hour shift later, I had reached the conclusion that no amount of flowers that will one day wilt, chocolate that will (if you are like me) be soon gone, or sappy cards will complete a person. Yes, they might give you 'that feeling,' for a moment, but in the end, they will only leave a person wanting.
Don't get me wrong, there is not a thing in the world wrong with making Valentine's Day something of a celebration with those items, so long as you keep in mind that the ultimate gift and picture of love is something far more simple.


It is a picture of the cross.
A cross where a man died for you. 
Knowing that you would cheat on Him, leave Him in the dust, ignore His calls, et cetera, et cetera. 
Talk about a broken relationship.
So what does He do? He dies. Gives all that He has, so that one day you might come back to Him and realize that He was all that you are looking for and more.
Makes the flowers and cards look slightly less glamorous huh?


So however you spent this last 'lovers' day, keep in mind, you are loved with a steadfast love, not tainted by human sin. 
There is a man waiting to court you, open your eyes dear one, His name is Jesus.


I wrote this as something of a love letter of gratitude to my Valentine.


My Valentine...

He reminds me daily that I am His and He is mine.
He laid His life down for me.
He sees beauty within.
He whispers 'I love you' when I need to hear it most.
He wrote arguably the longest love letter in all of history.

In fact, my Valentine IS love in essence and He desires your heart as well

In Summary

Life!

I love it. I tire from it. I thank the Lord for it.

The month of January and thereafter has proven to be the most hectic, yet amazing, and formative time of my life. It would take ample time to recount all that has occurred over the days that have passed since Passion, Christmas break, et cetera but there are a few high points I simply must hit.

I was reminded of God's many blessings to me as I have had the oppurtunity to reconnect with so many of my precious friends who have already entered the college 'chapter' of their life. We have shared so many memories lately and there is much more joy to be had. Most recently, we had the pleasure of celebrating the engagement of two of our best :) Alyssa and Richard! They have set a date in August and we are all currently basking in the fun that comes along with planning. The other weekend, Alyssa took all of her bridesmaids to one of the most fun days of my life...bridesmaids dress shopping! Ahh what excitement. God has given me the greatest girl friends that I could have ever asked for. Thank you, Lord.

Then! There was the Dominican Trip which call for many seperate blog posts that will soon be coming :)  May I just say though that God rocked my world that week and things have not been the same since...can't wait to share!

God answered my prayers for a job! Yipedoo. I have been working upwards of twenty, if not thirty hours, a week lately (hence the lack of blog posts). However, ironically enough, the Lord has shown me so many lessons through this job that I truly cannot wait to tell of. 

SAMFORD! SAMFORD! SAMFORD!

: )

I had the great privilege of traveling down TWICE in the last month to interview for scholarships, which the outcome of is still pending (I should hear back in the next week or so - ahh!). God is so sovereign, if you ever doubt that, I can offer countless stories to strengthen your faith. Chance does not exist. Coincidence? No such thing. He has given me seemingly endless confirmation about this process and the  details are soon coming. Those two weekends were simply unforgetable.

In summary...I basically just proved how much blogging I have to do! And to think, I simply touched on the high points in this post :) 

I am itching to share details with you! Stay tuned for more and if you are at a place in life where you simply just do not what to do, where to go from 'here,' et cetera. Take heart, I've been there, and God is in your yesterday, today, and tomorrow! May I encourage you with a passage that the Lord laid upon my heart this past month:

Exodus 14:14

 "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."  

(Some translations have silent in place of the world still. Maybe if you are like me, God desperately wants to speak to you, He just needs a chance to talk.)

Keep fighting the fight! The battle is already won.