Here's Why...

Since beginning college, I have found myself frequently asking, why I do a lot of the things that I do.

I have found that I often act out of habit, cultural norm/acceptance, or routine. 

The beauty of reflection, has therefore become ever real to me. 

Why, you ask? (good - you catch on quickly)

Because, if we are not careful,

routine, habit, and cultural norms will permeate into and define our spiritual lives

and before we know it,

little that we do will be a result of spirit-led communion with the Father.

Lately, I began to ask myself why I keep this blog going,

whether or not I am writing to myself.

Here is what I have determined:

I am committed to pouring my heart out in this way for two main reasons.

1. My Heavenly Father has called me out of darkness and into light. 

Clearly, the things I post here are not top secret or classified facts. 

Yes, they are personal, but it is one way I bring my struggles and tests to light.

There is freedom in light, in truth.

Satan's goal for Christians is isolation and to me, this is one way of breaking that bondage.

I am laying my heart out, being vulnerable.

Which leads me to reason number two...

2. I am committed to this because if even one person finds one glimmer of hope from one word in one post, every bit of it will be worth it. 

I journaled throughout high school, but I never would have thought to share those entries with anyone.

Why? (You're getting good : ] )

That would mean they would see that I'm not perfect...shocker.

Well, now I am here to tell you that I am not.

And if knowing that there is another young follower of Christ out there, wrestling with the flesh and struggling to die to myself daily, helps even one person, then there has been purpose in this blog.

I am learning the beauty of community, the beauty of sharing in our struggles, of being vulnerable.

So rather than keeping another journal all to myself, 

here are the open pages of my heart and life.

My story is still being written.

Day by day, I am watching as the Lord illuminates the path to which He has called me to walk.

It is painful, hazy, confusing, frustrating, captivating, and glorious all at the same time.

I do not have the answers, 

but I am free to admit that in Christ.

My security is not in having the answers,

but in He who answers when I call to Him.

I do not trust in the plan,

but The Planner.

Broken to beautiful, 

That is my heart's cry.

So in the good and the bad,

I am here to proclaim that my God is forever good, just, and righteous.

In Him I find life and freedom.

Anything good in me, is Him.

He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

And I yearn for my lifesong to sing His praises till the moment I see Him face to face,

and am able to embrace Him forevermore.

Until that day, 

I will struggle through this life,

with my eyes fixed on the prize.

I am a servant of the Lord

and here is my journey Home...

Seven Days

PTL I was able to travel back to Charlotte, NC for a little reprieve this past weekend.

Samford's fall break began Friday and the campus turned into ghost town pretty quickly.

During my time at home, I was able to see my beautiful sister on her homecoming court,

hike the mountains in Boone with some of God's greatest blessings in my life,

spend some QT with my mom,

have lunch with two of my mentors,

and have a great night out with my dad.

My version of a great fall break.

While at lunch with my mentors,

as I poured my heart out seeking their wisdom and advice,

one of my mentors proposed an idea that I thought might come in handy for someone, anyone in their walk with the Lord.

Sometimes, I am inclined to believe that the Lord would rather His children come to His feet in submission and respect, but boldly.

And that's just what my mentor challenged me to do.

In her walk with the Lord, when she needs the Lord's guidance on a major decision, etc. she sets aside seven days and prays fervently for discernment, peace, and clarity.

Why?

Because, just as I am known to do, I will cry out to the Lord about something for all of one day, let a week go by, then come before the Lord again begging for guidance, wondering why I have no clarity.

Hmm.

I'm on day four praying about a specific decision I have to make in the near future,

and while the Lord has already brought discernment, peace, and clarity about the situation,

my mentor has challenged me to 

follow through with that seven days.

Be faithful to that commitment.

The Lord is faithful to answer.

I must be faithful to ask.

He continues to increase the guidance He provided,

and has been drawing me closer to His heart through this process.

With that said, 

there very well may be times that the only direction I receive during a seven day time period is 

to wait.

That is direction, though, there is peace and clarity to be found in that.

We can rest in knowing that if our Sovereign Lord commands us to wait,

there is something worth waiting for.

This may not be for you,

it may be, but either way,

seek the Lord fervently.

He is waiting to reveal Himself to you.

God Saves

This week I was told on the same night by two different people,

living in completely different states that I might should set time aside

to watch Matt Chandler's most recent sermon entitled God Saves.

Wow.

So often I like to assume that the more I 'do' in my walk with the Lord,

the more He will delight in me and be pleased with me.

Wrong.

Not even my faith to believe in God is of myself, 

that too is a gift from the Lord (Ephesians 2:8).

He chose to delight in me even before I took my first breath on this Earth.

I am simply responding to a call on my life.

It's a response.

The choice to submit to this calling, however, is my own.

I've had to bow the knee this week in many areas of my life that I held on to for dear life.

'Dear life,' I realized, is not found in anything apart from the Lord.

Cling to Him, the giver of life, the giver of salvation, justification, and glorification.

Rejoice in Him, submit to Him, 

rest in knowing that we are more than conquerors (Psalm 44).

If you get the chance, follow the link to 'God Saves' and be amazed at the gift of salvation.

Storms

Most of us have heard the story of Jesus calming the ocean and walking on the water with the disciples in the midst of a raging storm. 

However, a dear friend here at Samford gave me a window

 into what the Holy Spirit allowed her to see with "fresh eyes" in this passage 

and I just had to share.

Mark 6:47-50

"When  evening came, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. About the fourth watch of the night he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them; but when they saw him walking on he lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, "take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." Then he climbed into the boat with them and the wind died down. They were completely amazed. 

As I read this passage aloud at Kelsie's request, 

I drew the same conclusion I always had from this passage. 

But then, she asked me to focus on the times noted.

Evening and The Fourth Watch of The Night.

Okay?

So basically, around sunset and 3 am.

The disciples were apparently late night fishers,

but where was the significance in that?

Kelsie pointed out that the storm began long before Jesus walked out 

and calmed the waters.

The disciples were in the boat, wondering and struggling through a storm,

but Jesus saw.

All along, He had seen the storm, He was not unaware.

Does this make Jesus cruel for causing the disciples to wait rather than providing an immediate rescue?

I do not believe it does.

In fact, I believe the Lord was allowing them to "struggle" in order to build their faith,

so that when He did rescue them,

"they took courage...and were completely amazed."

That's beauty.

That's perseverance of faith.

That's testing.

Just because He doesn't remove the storm completely and immediately,

does not mean that Jesus is unsympathetic, uninvolved, or unaware.

There is a purpose to the storms of life when we are fighting with the Lord on our side.

"Take courage & don't be afraid!" 

In the good and the bad,

we have a very present help.

Why did this hit home so much?

My journey here at Samford has not been quite what I expected or hoped for,

but I am learning that my expectations can be met in ways completely unimagined,

when I surrender to the Lord's work in my life.

Can't wait to share more on this journey!

Don't forget: Jesus sees your storm and is calling on you to take courage and not to be afraid!

When The Day Is Done

Confession: I have been a terrible blogger these past couple weeks.

Time management has been quite a task, but there is so much to share.

First of all, I must affirm how faithful the Lord is. 

Truly, I am in awe of His steadfast love.

These past couple weeks have been a whirlwind comparable to none other.

During this time, the Lord has really shown me the beauty of community.

Moving eight hours away from all that is familiar has truly 

caused me to reflect on the things I value most in life. 

Time after time, I am reminded of the fact that the Lord created us for relationships, for the body.

Having the opportunity to live and thrive in that has been so transformational.

Life on life.

This was God's intention for the church.

It is convicting, challenging, rewarding, difficult, amazing,

all at the same time.

From the girls on my hall, to my new body of believers, to my Chi Omega family,

iron is sharpening iron. 

Darkness is being brought to the light.

Prisoners are being set free.

The Glory of God is all around,

look for community today.

It's your mother, it's your co-worker, your acquaintance at school.

Be the body.

A College Hodgepodge

1. I LOVE COLLEGE. 
You might would think this would be an obvious statement.
It's not. College isn't easy, isn't always enjoyable, & is often awkward at first.
But when I step back and look past all of this, I see God's plans and purposes unfolding and I'm amazed.
2. My first quiz, which I just completed, was only five questions. 
Not exactly what I was expecting.
3. DREW AND ELLIE HOLCOMB ARE COMING TO MY SCHOOL.
Tomorrow! I literally cannot contain my excitement.
My love for them is so profound that I dream of their sweet music serenading everyone at my wedding.
4. My new obsession is Diet Citrus Green Tea.
I highly recommend it.
5. I just got my roomie hooked on the blogging thing.
Such a great trend.
6. Birmingham experienced a major storm this weekend and Samford had a power outage, resulting in a day off from class.
I love my life.
7. That power outage resulted in the third Panera trip since arriving here at Samford.
Yes, to answer your question, Panera gift cards are the perfect care package item =]
8. My RA happens to know one of my very best friends from back home, Shaheen Safaie!
You are well loved all across this country, my friend.
9. Brook Hills is home.
I bathed the situation of finding a great church home in prayer, and I walked away from church at Brook Hills this Sunday with a full assurance that God had led me precisely to this place. 
10. We have our first 4th East "Family Dinner" this Friday at Newk's and I'm pretty much not sure I can handle having so many of my greatest loves characterize one night of my life.

4th East

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 

neither are your ways my ways" 

declares the Lord.

Isaiah 55:8

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, 

your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 

"This is the way; walk in it."

Isaiah 30:21

God knows our needs.

And He is faithful to provide.

He knows our yearnings, our passions, our desires.

He knew that coming to Samford, 

being 8 hours away from home,

I would need more than surface relationships to survive on.

In fact, we all would.

Every human being is made to thrive in community,

and I am watching an entire floor of young women testify to that reality,

day in and day out.

4th East.

This just so happens to be the name of my residence hall,

and my new family (away from family.)

In the past week I have laughed, cried, learned, and grown

with these girls in ways none of us could have ever imagined. 

God has truly blessed me with community of girls!

And a movement of God is about us.

These women share my passion for women's ministry

and are hungry for the Lord,

which has caused me to grow and mature in my faith.

Exhibit A:

It's a rough night. Typical freshman problems.

Awkward scenarios and the like.

We're all feeling a little discouraged.

My dear friend, Tabs (aka Tabitha) asks if I would like to go back to the dorm

to spend time reading in the Word and praying about our time here.

I was blown away.

These are the types of friendships I prayed God would bless me with 

sometime during my 4 years here.

And one week into things,

I'm already seeing an answer to that prayer.

Tabitha, Rebekah, Laura, Aby, Maggie, Alexis...

I could go on and on.

These girls love the Lord and have rock solid faith.

Iron truly does sharpen Iron.

God is up to something big.

I'm waiting expectantly upon Him.

And until we see the details,

my sweet 4th East girls are committed to seeking His face in all that we do here.

Show Me Your Ways

I thought I had it all figured out.

Before I got to the great state of Alabama, 

I had conveniently told God just how my freshman year would work out.

I told Him what organizations I would get involved with, 

how I would spend my time, and where I would invest my life.

Funny concept, me telling God how things will work.

I fooled myself into thinking that simply because all of my plans were "good" 

that they must be God's.

Good plans and God's plans are not the same thing, 

I have come to realize.

Are God's plans always good? Yes.

Are 'Good' plans always God's? No.

He has called me to areas that I would have never

 imagined to invest my time and energy in, 

and those areas have been the most rewarding, 

even in the short time I've been here.

After my first week of college life, 

that would have to be my biggest piece of advice:

Walk with Him. 

His plans are not intended to be a mystery.

He desires that you know and live according to His will.

Seek Him daily and you will find Him.