"I Feel So Loved"

"I feel so loved."
I say this over countless things...
When I receive a thoughtful card,
When my sweet mom surprises me with my favorite food (ice cream),
When my sister let's me wear the shirt we always both inevitably want on the same day.

Clearly y'all, it's the little things in life with me.
It doesn't take too much for me to just feel overwhelmed by the love of others.

Why do I point this out?
Because of a gentle nudge the Holy Spirit blessed me with this afternoon.

I was reading an ongoing messag thread between a friend and myself as she explained how unloved by God she had been feeling recently.
Nodding my head in complete understanding of her sentiments, the Lord stopped me mid thought.

Just as I was about to throw in another "been there" type of comment, it was as if God himself whispered into my ear, "Why, Beloved, do you doubt my love?"

No, I didn't audibly hear this but I might as well had, the impact ran just as deep.

My mind began racing in directions it had never been before:
Here I so often complain to God, "Lord, I know you love me and accept me as your child, but I'm just not feeling/experiencing that today."
Then minutes later, in walks mom with a Chick-Fil-A milkshake and suddenly "I feel so loved?"

Here, the God of the universe sits enthroned in the Heavens, thinking thoughts towards me moment by moment, not to mention sending His only Son to die a gruesome death to appease His wrath toward me, and I choose to question His love.

He must be grieved. He gave Himself, all He had to save me of my sins so that I might live for the glory of His name, but I cannot do this because I am too busy pickin flowers playing the, "He loves me, He loves me not," game.

He loves me!!!
And I will not allow the ruler of this world to have another second of my God given time, as I sit around grumbling over a question that God Himself has answered in more ways than I can even fathom.

You are loved, beloved. Now let that overflow of love fuel your fire to go spread the Gospel!