Faith Not Feelings

Can I be honest?

It is so easy for me to come here and pour my heart out when things are going smoothly,

when I feel the Lord with every passing second of the day.

But what about in the times when I feel nothing,

and that which I do feel, 

I wish I did not, because it hurts.

What about in those times?

This entire week has been one of 'those' times for me.

And I have been met with the question, 

"Will my lifesong still sing His praises?"

It is easy to view the Lord as faithful,

when things are lining up,

when plans are falling into place,

when its easy.

But what about when my world is seemingly falling apart,

when I feel completely alone, completely vulnerable, and completely insecure,

when I have no idea what the next day will hold?

Will I still proclaim His faithfulness?

Will I choose to cling to His covenant love?

Will I remember the Lord's faithfulness in my life?

Faith comes easily when there's nothing testing it.

But the Gospel teaches time and time again that 

we are called, as Christians, 

to endure suffering for the faith.

So yes, testing will come, trials will ensue,

but we must not loose sight of the hope to which we have been called.

So when you do not feel it. 

Remember that He is ever faithful.

And we do not live by feelings, 

we live by faith.

With good reason, because while this world threatens to send our emotions on a daily downward spiral, 

we can always return to the Word of the Lord,

and rest in knowing that

"Jesus Christ is the same today, yesterday and forever"

Hebrews 13:8

Faith not feelings.

Because He is ever faithful.

Listen Up

Recently, my Bible Study leader here at SU challenged me to end my quiet time every morning with a time of simply being still before the Lord.

Basically, get out everything you need to say and just wait.

I wasn't quite sure how I felt about this.

Then it occurred to me, why haven't I ever made this a part of my daily time with the Lord.

Essentially, I ramble on and on, begging the Lord to answer my prayers, all the while, I can only imagine Him looking down saying, "Dear one, I would, but You'll need to give me a chance to speak."

I figured it was about time I listened for a change.

And a change it has been.

Honestly, I did not expect that every single day, the Lord would choose to be so personal with me, giving me a specific act of obedience based on my quiet time, or reminding me specifically of certain aspects of His character based on things I am struggling with.

Y'all, just as sovereign as our Lord is, He is sweet. 

Tomorrow concludes the first week of this new practice in my daily time with the Lord and it has drawn me so much closer to His heart.

I could have never anticipated what my time spent waiting on the Lord today would bring about. 

I'm still in awe, in fact.

For a little background, yesterday after my quiet time, I received an email about the Majors Fair at Samford, which was being hosted that day. 

I moved the message to my trash.

Why would I need a majors fair?

I've got this all figured out.

For reasons unbeknownst to myself, 

I moved the message right back to my inbox and began to read.

Immediately, something within me told me I needed to go to the Education School's table that day.

Umm...why?

I have never, nor do I now have, any desire to go back to 
high school, middle school, or elementary school,
as a part of my daily routine.

In fact, if you are around me for any extended amount of time,

you will probably at some point hear me say "You couldn't pay me enough to go back to those years."

So naturally, as I walked past the education table that morning, 

I inwardly laughed at the idea that the thought of looking into an Education Major would have ever crossed my mind.

Apparently, I reasoned, the communication connection

 from Heaven's doorstep and my dorm room was a little fuzzy that morning.

Okay, not funny, but really, 

I dismissed the Spirit's promptings instantaneously because it did not align with my plan.

So, this morning rolls around and I am waiting on the Lord, seeking His guidance and wisdom for today.

Yet again, this heavy burden is upon my heart, the same as yesterday.

At this point, I'm beyond confused.

Fine.

I gave in, opened the SU majors & minors webpage and began to read about the education program and courses.

My heart nearly burst.

Suddenly, it was as if everything I have become burdened for since coming to Samford collided into one glorious, beautiful picture.

My heart has been so heavy for orphans, those being trafficked, foster care, adoption, international missions, and so on.

But what was my role here? 

This question kept haunting my mind in the previous weeks.

Suddenly, I realized that the gift of education has impacted my life and deepened my relationship with and understanding of the Lord, 

and I could offer that to a child.

Maybe even my child, my orphan, my slave set free.

All of a sudden, my sweet roommate looks at me, 

unaware of the little world I was residing in and says to me,

 "Hey, have you ever thought about an education major?"

DEER IN HEADLIGHTS

Did God give you some kind of window into the curve ball He just threw me?

As you can imagine, I couldn't form a sentence.

So she says, "...because I have been considering 

changing from Psychology (both of our current major's) to education."

I about fell in the floor.

Needless to say, we chit chatted about it for a minute or two.

So, with this vision in sight and confirmation from my dear roommate, I e-mailed the advisor listed on the website, simply asking if she had anytime in the next couple weeks that we might could meet.

I got a response within the hour and we will now be meeting tomorrow afternoon.

Can I be honest?

I have no idea what the Lord has up His sleeve, if you will.

I no more want to spend the rest of my life in a high school than I did before my quiet time this morning.

But I have never been more at peace about the Lord's specific plan and purpose for my life than I am at this very moment.

You see, I simply asked Him to speak, as I have many times before, but this time, I chose to listen.

I did not, by any stretch of the imagination, get a response I expected.

My future is truly in the hands of my almighty creator.

I've given up 5 year plans, 6 month agendas...week long outlines, even.

He is in control.

Let go, listen up, He is ready to speak!

Seven Days

PTL I was able to travel back to Charlotte, NC for a little reprieve this past weekend.

Samford's fall break began Friday and the campus turned into ghost town pretty quickly.

During my time at home, I was able to see my beautiful sister on her homecoming court,

hike the mountains in Boone with some of God's greatest blessings in my life,

spend some QT with my mom,

have lunch with two of my mentors,

and have a great night out with my dad.

My version of a great fall break.

While at lunch with my mentors,

as I poured my heart out seeking their wisdom and advice,

one of my mentors proposed an idea that I thought might come in handy for someone, anyone in their walk with the Lord.

Sometimes, I am inclined to believe that the Lord would rather His children come to His feet in submission and respect, but boldly.

And that's just what my mentor challenged me to do.

In her walk with the Lord, when she needs the Lord's guidance on a major decision, etc. she sets aside seven days and prays fervently for discernment, peace, and clarity.

Why?

Because, just as I am known to do, I will cry out to the Lord about something for all of one day, let a week go by, then come before the Lord again begging for guidance, wondering why I have no clarity.

Hmm.

I'm on day four praying about a specific decision I have to make in the near future,

and while the Lord has already brought discernment, peace, and clarity about the situation,

my mentor has challenged me to 

follow through with that seven days.

Be faithful to that commitment.

The Lord is faithful to answer.

I must be faithful to ask.

He continues to increase the guidance He provided,

and has been drawing me closer to His heart through this process.

With that said, 

there very well may be times that the only direction I receive during a seven day time period is 

to wait.

That is direction, though, there is peace and clarity to be found in that.

We can rest in knowing that if our Sovereign Lord commands us to wait,

there is something worth waiting for.

This may not be for you,

it may be, but either way,

seek the Lord fervently.

He is waiting to reveal Himself to you.

God Saves

This week I was told on the same night by two different people,

living in completely different states that I might should set time aside

to watch Matt Chandler's most recent sermon entitled God Saves.

Wow.

So often I like to assume that the more I 'do' in my walk with the Lord,

the more He will delight in me and be pleased with me.

Wrong.

Not even my faith to believe in God is of myself, 

that too is a gift from the Lord (Ephesians 2:8).

He chose to delight in me even before I took my first breath on this Earth.

I am simply responding to a call on my life.

It's a response.

The choice to submit to this calling, however, is my own.

I've had to bow the knee this week in many areas of my life that I held on to for dear life.

'Dear life,' I realized, is not found in anything apart from the Lord.

Cling to Him, the giver of life, the giver of salvation, justification, and glorification.

Rejoice in Him, submit to Him, 

rest in knowing that we are more than conquerors (Psalm 44).

If you get the chance, follow the link to 'God Saves' and be amazed at the gift of salvation.

Storms

Most of us have heard the story of Jesus calming the ocean and walking on the water with the disciples in the midst of a raging storm. 

However, a dear friend here at Samford gave me a window

 into what the Holy Spirit allowed her to see with "fresh eyes" in this passage 

and I just had to share.

Mark 6:47-50

"When  evening came, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. About the fourth watch of the night he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them; but when they saw him walking on he lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified. Immediately he spoke to them and said, "take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." Then he climbed into the boat with them and the wind died down. They were completely amazed. 

As I read this passage aloud at Kelsie's request, 

I drew the same conclusion I always had from this passage. 

But then, she asked me to focus on the times noted.

Evening and The Fourth Watch of The Night.

Okay?

So basically, around sunset and 3 am.

The disciples were apparently late night fishers,

but where was the significance in that?

Kelsie pointed out that the storm began long before Jesus walked out 

and calmed the waters.

The disciples were in the boat, wondering and struggling through a storm,

but Jesus saw.

All along, He had seen the storm, He was not unaware.

Does this make Jesus cruel for causing the disciples to wait rather than providing an immediate rescue?

I do not believe it does.

In fact, I believe the Lord was allowing them to "struggle" in order to build their faith,

so that when He did rescue them,

"they took courage...and were completely amazed."

That's beauty.

That's perseverance of faith.

That's testing.

Just because He doesn't remove the storm completely and immediately,

does not mean that Jesus is unsympathetic, uninvolved, or unaware.

There is a purpose to the storms of life when we are fighting with the Lord on our side.

"Take courage & don't be afraid!" 

In the good and the bad,

we have a very present help.

Why did this hit home so much?

My journey here at Samford has not been quite what I expected or hoped for,

but I am learning that my expectations can be met in ways completely unimagined,

when I surrender to the Lord's work in my life.

Can't wait to share more on this journey!

Don't forget: Jesus sees your storm and is calling on you to take courage and not to be afraid!