Confessions

1. I will not miss high school. Nor will I be one of those people who constantly try to relive "those Glory Days." I love my school, memories I made, friends I intend to keep, but I'm ready to move on to the next chapter. (Someone remind me I said this when I'm sobbing at graduation.)


2. Reading the Bible is an intense struggle for me. I love reading about the Bible, learning theology about the Bible, and I even sincerely love the Bible. Something about opening up God's Word and reading them though, triggers fears sometimes. 
    Fear that I will miss 'the point.'
    Fear that I will interpret something incorrectly.
    Fear. 
    But I don't let the devil have that battle, because the Bible tells me that "perfect love casts out fear," and that it does.


3. I might not have dated in three years and I tell people 110% of the time that it never bothers me.
That's not true. Sometimes, it secretly does. Well, I guess it's not 'secretly' anymore. But then I remind myself I will not wish away my single years and that I find my satisfaction in Christ alone...and all is well again : )


4. I have all of my children's names picked out. It's true, corny and true, but I can't tell you, because that would solidify the corniness. Plus, I intend for my future hubs to have a say-so in the matter. 


5. I struggle with accepting the fact that Christ loves me unconditionally and sees me as beautiful, just the way that I am.


6. TV Commercials annoy me. They are a consistent reminder of the demise of our society. Bleh.


7. I have never written anything I actually like. Yes, I am my toughest critic.


8. I am addicted to 'Just Dance 2' for the wii. Horrible, but addicted. I'm actually not sure I will survive without it in college.


9. I am totally a Facebook creeper. It's true. I try to keep myself occupied in order to avoid it, but a sleepless night here or there leaves me with few options.

There ya have it...confessions of a snowed-in-senior. 

Crazy Love

Have you ever picked up a book and from the very start of it realized that the content in your hands would soon change the way you view things? It has happened to me a view times and the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan was no exception. One thing I found surprising about the book was its utter simplicity about very profound topics. God is love, love is God but somehow Francis managed to keep these concepts within the scope of my understanding. Thank you, Francis. Actually, that got me to thinking. Do you ever wonder if, as Christians, we tend to overcomplicate things sometimes? Okay, maybe it is just me but I know for a fact I will spend so much time running in circles trying to understand the concept of the trinity while missing the profound commandments like love the Lord your God and your neighbor as yourself. 

Crazy Love brought me back to the basics. I hesitated to write a summary of the book, for fear of taking away from its message. Rather, I decided to share a few quotes from the book in hopes that it might spurn you to pick Crazy Love up for yourself =] 

It won't be wasted time...promise.

"The irony is that while God doesn’t need
us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don’t really want Him most of the
time."
— Francis Chan

"Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter."
— Francis Chan

"We need to stop giving people excuses not to believe in God. You've probably heard the expression 'I believe in God, just not organized religion'. I don't think people would say that if the church truly lived like we are called to live."
— Francis Chan

"God's definition of what matters is pretty straightforward. He measures our lives by how we love."
— Francis Chan

"He wants all or nothing. The thought of a person calling himself a 'Christian' without being a devoted follower of Christ is absurd."
— Francis Chan

"We don't get to decide who God is."
— Francis Chan

"Joy is something that we have to choose and then work for."
— Francis Chan

Spirit Fall

I don't mean to be skipping around on you here, I know my postings are a tad out of order but I just had to share this with you!

While driving to school the first morning back after an amazing Christmas Break and the Passion Conference, I caught a glimpse of the sky out of my rear view mirror and my breath caught in my throat.

That morning I prayed, "Lord please help me not to experience a low after an all time high with You, please give me the strength and wisdom to see and experience your presence." 

Boy, did he grant my request.

As I looked at the beautiful sky, careful not to wreck the car of course, I began smiling from ear to ear knowing that the sunrise was of Him! His spirit fell on me as I took it all in. He was the creator, the artist of this beautiful masterpiece. How wonderful is that?

My God, my heavenly Father showed Himself to me in the sunrise on January 5th, 2011. 

In my opinion, it was a gentle reminder that He does not need a conference with 26,000 college students to muster up His handiwork. He makes himself known with each new day.

Yet, are we aware of His presence? Or are many people, much like myself, too busy in their day to day routines to stop and realize God's spirit falling on His children?

He's here today, He is wherever you are right now, He is already in your tomorrow, He is thinking thoughts towards you, and He loves you with a steadfast love.

Embrace that, Embrace Him.

We Welcome You With Praise

The Passion 2011 band rocked. No pun intended.

They so very much so...rocked, to the glory of the Lord!

Their song lyrics were completely original, all made 6 weeks prior to Passion - that is God given talent if ever I've seen it.

There is constantly a song on my lips now, all of which I learned at Passion. 

I literally cannot stop singing, humming...you name it.

Not that I do it well, but I simply can't stop =]

Psalm 96:2

"Sing to the Lord, praise His name."

Who Will Love Me For Me

J. J. Heller's lyrics are some of the most beautiful words I have ever encountered.

This song has a powerful message.

Jesus Christ loves you.

Please take a moment to soak in the words of this video.

You Doubt Your Value, Don't Run From Who You Are

You know those moments, the ones where you instantly think, "I will never forget this as long as I live." I had one of those while sitting in an AMC Theater the other day, which I was not expecting because I so rarely go to the movies anymore due to the decline of morality in media today. However, I felt rather safe venturing to see Narnia with one of my very dearest friends. 


I had to fight to see many scenes through thick tears, but one scene particularly pulled at my heart strings and has permeated my thoughts many times since. As Lucy, one of the main characters, strives to change her appearance in an attempt to look like her older sister, Susan, she begins to lose her identity. Aslan, a lion representing God in the series, comes to remind her of her immense value in His eyes. I quoted part of the scene below and I cannot wait to share the powerful clip with you once it makes an appearance on YouTube.


Soak this in, whoever you are, if you ever feel unworthy or less than sufficient.
Then listen to the Lord, who forever tells you that He loves and accepts you just the way that you are.


Aslan: Lucy
Lucy: Aslan?
Aslan: what have you done child?
Lucy: I don't know, that was awful.
Aslan: but you chose it, Lucy.
Lucy: I didn't mean to choose all of that, I just wanted to be beautiful like susan. That's all
Aslan: You wished yourself away and with it much more. Your brothers and sisters wouldn't know Narnia without you, lucy. you discovered it first, remember?
Lucy: I’m so sorry.
Aslan: You doubt your value, don't run from who you are


Don't wish yourself away, as so often we are tempted to do. The creator of the universe knit you together in your mother's womb. He knows the number of hairs on your head and the number of breaths you will take. Rest in that.

The Joy of Thanksgiving

"O Lord, who lends me life, lend me a heart replete with thankfulness."


Better late than never, right?


While I do not make New Year's Resolutions, I do try to collect my thoughts around the start of a New Year, add to ongoing spiritual goals, and think on areas I would like to improve. Being intentional about blogging fell under the latter of those categories this year. 


Therefore, I am trying to catch up on a few major 'blog worthy' events that I missed over the past couple months...Thanksgiving definitely being one of which.


This year, my whole family was able to congregate at my family's new home in Concord. As always, the simplicity of being surrounded by those I love spurned the most gratitude in my heart. Well, that and Christ's love for me. 


Here are a few photos from the Webb family gathering:

 Will Pill 

 All the girl cousins =]

 Courtney and I

 Teaching the boys the ever so fun...Ninja!

 Precious little Abby

 Grandma and I

Oh, How He Loves Us

I saw it in the hands lifted.
I saw it in the triangles of believers praying.
I saw it in the boy with his face flat on the floor.
I saw it in the girl crying out.
I saw it in the people compelled to journal.
I saw it in the teens dancing in the isles.
I saw it in the eyes of the people.


I saw Jesus. I felt His presence. I thank Him for what He lifted the veil over my mind to see.


As I stood on the VERY top row of the Philipps Arena in Atlanta at the Passion Conference with my hands lifted, praising the Lord, I opened my eyes and suddenly it dawned on me.
While each and every person that was lifting praise was doing it to honor the very same God, He is still so intimately involved in each life. He is enormous, yet personal. Omnipotent, yet gentle. Omniscient, yet compassionate. To be feared, yet gentle. Ahh! I cannot fathom the depths of Him who saved me. Him who I love. Him who I vow to serve with my life.


As I reflected on the ways that He has intricately woven together the events of my life, day in and day out, I was stunned to realize He was doing the VERY same thing for each and every other person that my glimpse caught. He thinks thoughts towards all of us. He treasures us.


Oh, how He loves us.

Passion 2011

Where to begin...
I have started. stopped. deleted. stared blankly at. restarted. this post more times than I can possibly count. My heart is so heavy that I have been simply dying to get to the keys to sort through all the thoughts and emotions pulsing through me. Yet, no simplistic explanation has  developed for the transformation that occurred in my life since the start of this new year, this new decade.


1. 1. 11
A day that I will never forget, a day that I loved from the start simply for the numerical meaning I saw lying behind it all. To me, the number one represents a new beginning, a fresh start, exactly what I needed to be honest. Not to mention, 1. 1. 11 also happened to be the first day of the Passion Conference in Atlanta, Georgia which I had the pleasure to attend. This conference changed the scope and course of my life so anyone who is so kind to read these posts will have to suffer through many accounts of probably 4 of the best days of my life.


Passion is an amazing conference not because it brings 26,000 college students together, not because we raised over 1.1 million dollars for amazing causes, not because Lecrae performed, but Passion IS an amazing conference because it's sole purpose is to bring glory to the name of Jesus. The beautiful, beautiful name of Jesus. A name that I grew to love much more this weekend.


The theme of the conference this year was "Living a Free and Full Life in Christ." I could not see to jot the title down in my notes the first time I heard the topic for the weekend for the tears in my eyes welled too quickly. God is too gracious to me. Freedom in Christ has been my journey over the last few months and I felt as if the entire topic had been orchestrated around exactly what I needed to hear.
As I walked through the four days of the conference, with no more than five hours of sleep a night, I felt as if I was walking through an art gallery of sorts, with each different session serving as a snapshot of the last months of my life.


1. 1. 11 it was. My day of awakening, the start of a new chapter as I like to see it. How so? It was the day I decided I am not turning back. Will I be tempted? Of course, what would the human life be without temptation or suffering? But I will not submit to the yokes of slavery that I was mastered by for so long. There is too much at stake. Too much to lose. Christ has called me to an abundant life and I freely embrace all that He offers me.


I cannot wait to share further of my experience at Passion 2011.
Below are a couple photos from the weekend.

 Writing a message to the anonymous recipient of a Bible in Columbia.

 Meet my roommates.

LR: Chelsea, Hannah, Sophie, Myself

GO CENTER (to be explained)

 Worship!

 Meet Ernest, our homeless friend.

We are a chosen generation!

Mold, Make, Place Him

"Lord I know there is someone, 
In this world for me
Keep him safe from harm,
And from temptation help him flee
Make him a leader,
Who can guide me through the years.
Give him a loving arm to hold me,
And to dry all my tears.
Mold him to be a father,
As you have been to me.
Always keep him by my side
A right arm forever he’ll be.
Cause his love for you to grow,
And a true doctrine let him know.
And in his life forever,
Let your light always show.
Place him in the ministry,
So more can hear God’s word
And when the trials come,
Help us praise you Lord.
Give him a compassion,
Toward those who are orphaned
And to such as these,
Our home will always be open.
Finally Lord I ask you,
Help him keep himself
Because a Christian man like this,
Is valued above great wealth."


I decided to post this prayer that I have lifted to the Lord countless times because I was reminded this past weekend how easy it is to forget God's sovereignty over every single detail of your life. As Christians, we are called to bring glory to God through every single area of our life, including our marriage and while I know that may  very well be many years away for me, recent discussions with brothers and sisters in Christ warrant this post.


While I may not always keep it at the forefront of my mind, deep down I know that even a moment of worrying about who the Lord has set apart for me to love and cherish one day is waisted time because He is Lord of all and He holds all things together.


So may I just encourage you, if ever you struggle with worrying about these types of issues, remember that the Lord holds all things together! Maybe you too can find comfort in praying these precious and sincere words to God, who is intimately involved in His children's lives.