On Second Thought

Have you ever reacted to someone and thought, "where in the world did that come from?"

Unfortunately, I had one of those incidences just the other day.

It was one of those "insert foot in mouth" moments.

You know, the ones you wish you could take back but can't.

Yeah, one of those.

As I kept thinking about my reaction throughout the day, I could not pinpoint the cause of my behavior.

Sure, there was a ton of history and hurt in the past with this person, but hadn't I said the right words already 'I forgive you.' What more could be expected? Right?

Wrong, very wrong.

I realized that while I had tried masking it with apology acceptances and candy coated words, deep down, I was still very bitter. Hence the phrase "actions speak louder than words." With my mouth, I was saying "I forgive you," but with my actions and heart, I was saying "I refuse to share with you the same level of forgiveness I receive from Christ every day.

Selfish? Most definitely.

I spent time talking with God about the condition of my heart, about how I wanted forgiveness to penetrate far beyond my words and something amazing happened. 

The next time I came in contact with this person, I realized it was effortless to sincerely be kind and loving towards them; I no longer had to put on an act.

Can I share something with you? Forgiving someone is not only a Biblical command, but it feels far greater to take that initial step than to harbor bitterness forever and a day.

So the next time you have one of those, "where did that come from" moments, try asking yourself if there is any remnant of bitterness in your heart. 

Take it from me, the smallest spec can surface like a massive boulder.

"forgive as I have forgiven you."