Hodgepodge

I hadn't compiled a list of random thoughts in a really long time. With a house full of sleeping kids I thought now might be the perfect time :)

1. I could eat the Thai Chopped Chicken salad from Panera at every meal & never tire of it.
2. I own way too many pairs of TOMs...but it's kindove like philanthropy, right?
3. A day doesn't go by that I don't think about how much I miss Israel.
4. Pandora is constantly playing on my phone. Either on the Michael Buble, Meredith Andrews, or Brooks Fraser station. 
5. Im on a quest to try all things outdoorsy this year: zip-lining, rock climbing, camping, kayaking...you name it.
6. I got my first cold sore this week. It really took everything  in me not to stay in my house till it went away. Unattractive. 
7. Fall cannot come soon enough this year! But I'm going to miss driving on the blue ridge parkway...an annual tradition.
8. I babysit so much that I find myself doing weird things like reading "Charlotte Parent Magazine" & printing off free kids-meal coupons in my spare time.
9. I just discovered and fell in love with Mat Kearny's music this week...amazing.
10. In 6 days I will be living in a new state, in a new home, with new people, a new body of believers, a new school. It's all new! I'm thoroughly stoked and already packed :) 

Chills.

I know that it may seem like I have fallen off the face of the blog world here lately.

It's because I have.

Apologies.

I have discovered this whole moving out thing to be quite time consuming.

Nonetheless, when I quiet myself before the Lord, 

He brings me back to the core of things, 

even now amongst all the chaos, and my goodness y'all, 

this week He has brought me chills like never before. 

God and I have this love affair with music.

It's our thing, well that and sunsets, or really anything with the sky.

I'm convinced it's how he woos me.

He's quite good at it, might I add.

What with Him being God and all.

Anyways, I can think back to a dozen times where I've been at a live show,

 listening to the radio during my quiet times, 

driving in the car, you name it, 

and God speaks right through the music.

Sometimes though, its far more than just a song speaking to me.

For instance, at the end of completing the Breaking Free Bible Study by Beth Moore, 

I was praying a prayer that was at the end of the book while Pandora played in the background.

All of a sudden, as I was praying out loud, 

I heard the exact words of the prayer being echoed.

Suddenly I realized the prayer, adapted straight from a passage in the Old Testament, 

was from the same passage that this song was based on.

The two matched word for word.

Now every time I hear that song, it's a reminder of that personal encounter with God.

So this week, as I was finishing the last pages of the book "Captivated,"

which I have already expressed my intense affection for,

God moved in the same way.

Pandora was on, yet again, but I wasn't really paying much attention to the music.

Suddenly, the exact words of the line in the book I was reading began sounding throughout the room.

"I am, I'm captivated by you."

I rushed to look at the song name.

None other than....

"CAPTIVATED" by Shawn McDonald. 

Insert tears here. I was overwhelmed by the presence of God.

I've never heard this song before, always loved some Shawn McDonald, 

and call it what you may, 

but I will forever believe that this was another example 

of just how personal our Heavenly Father is.

So when you look at the night sky, at the ocean waves, 

or at a beautiful landscape, remember that the Creator of all that is good, 

that made those very things, 

made YOU and is captivated by you, 

just the way that you are.

You are His.

He wants to give you chills today, tomorrow, and for all of eternity.

Ask Him, He won't let you down. 

I'm Vulnerable And Not Afraid To Admit It...

Yeah, I said it.

Actually, I read it & now I'm going to say it.

The book "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge was recently gifted to me, 

& it was possibly the best gift I've ever received.

I've pretty much underlined the entire book, but I quadruple underlined a few parts,

one of which brought up a concept I had to let out : )

With the Allen wedding having been a hot topic in conversation for the past months, 

I have received my fair share of advice about dating, weddings, and the like.

In reflection, the most common piece of advice has been this:

"You need to graduate college, not dependent on any man, climb the corporate ladder, and then you can settle down later in life."

Something about this advice did NOT settle well with my soul every time it was said.

If you would have offered me the same advice,

hear me out.

What if this isn't how our Creator created us to think and to believe?

What if, just maybe, He meant for us to be vulnerable,

Set us up to be dependent on Someone Greater than ourselves?

To need the love, support, and strength of Another,

and our earlthy relationships, marriage above all, were to mirror this?

What if?

I began to try to own the advice I was given for myself.

To think more independently, to believe that I could make it through life "just fine" without being linked to any man.

But I couldn't.

I could not do it.

The promise of marriage, a life of love, of children, of laughter, of trials, and tears, and memories,

all with the same man, a man after God's heart,

is all the more compelling.

And suddenly, while reading "Captivating," my internal struggle with societies' suggestions began to make sense. 

I fear my vulnerabliity. 

And the result of this fear "has nothing to do with real loving, and nothing to do with deeply trusting God," which is what I have been called to.

But I have hope in this,

Fear & Faith cannot coenicde. 

It is impossible.

And Romans 14:23 states that,

"Whatever is not from faith is sin,"

so I must choose faith.

If I want to enjoy the abundant life Christ has promised,

I must choose faith,

choose to be dependent upon Him,

vulnerable with Him,

and with others.

Yes, there is much to be said for guarding and protecting ones heart,

but with the Holy Spirit's guidance,

I too must have a level of vulnerability about myself.

I am not in this alone, and I'm okay with admitting that now.

And, as is natural, C. S. Lewis said everything I just attempted to so much more eloquently:

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.

Today Was A Fairytale...

As the doors slowly opened,

and she appeared in white,

a steady stream of tears began to flow down his face.

Years of love, sacrifice, patience, and joy all surmounted to this one moment,

where, like two pieces of a puzzle, two would become one.

Time stood still as they promised their lives to one another.

& then, with all the sincerity in the world, Richard & Alyssa made a covenant before God and man,

that whatever may come in the days ahead,

their love would be like that of Christ:

selfless, sacrificial, everlasting, pure, honest, & true. 

This weekend was truly one that I will never forget.

One of my best friends in the world, Alyssa Bradley, became Mrs. Alyssa Allen this Sunday!

(Insert squeals) 

Her husband, Richard, is a man of God who loves her in such an unfathomable way.

They are youthful & their love is rare.

It is my prayer that everyone has this type of love, this type of marriage.

One that follows hard after the will of God, 

no matter what the days hold. 

From the bridesmaid day trip, to the rehearsal dinner, to the last sleepover with Alyssa as a single woman, & then finally the big day on Sunday, 

it was all beyond words.

But my favorite part of it all is also the hardest to put into words.

But I will try my best.

Everything about the day was original, youthful, & wonderful,

The Bridesmaids wore cowgirl boots,

Sunflowers filled our bouquets, 

A barn was in the backdrop of the ceremony scenery,

We ate BBQ & baked beans in the reception hall,

Danced for hours to a wide array of music,

but my favorite part was the knowing that everyone had:

this was right.

Right in the truest sense of the word.

God and God alone had brought this couple together.

He was the glue that has held them through it all,

and will continue to be the binding force in their lives.

His presence was so evident,

and His peace was beyond understanding,

and His plan is and will always be perfect,

The Allen's are resting in Him today and always,

And I'm so thankful I get to watch their love grow over the years.

Rehearsal Dinner With Miss Hampton.

Isn't she beautiful!

Praying with the girls before walking down the isle.

Mrs. Allen, you are one of God's greatest blessings in my life. 

I love this picture. 

Mark 10:9

"What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

I Was Thinking...

As a person who struggles with perfectionistic tendencies, especially in my walk with the Lord, I have to guard myself very carefully from falling into the "do this, do that" mode.

BUT I have come to realize something here lately.

We are not saved by works, no. 

But I do believe we are called to engage.

Engage in the body of Christ, engage while serving, etc.

I also believe we are called to engage our minds.

This is the spiritual battleground of today. 

The enemy is cunning, but not overly creative in my opinion.

He gets us all in the same location: the mind.

It may sound irrational at first glance, but think about it...

The start of any stronghold is not an action, it is a thought. 

A lie not taken captive to the authority of Christ.

Then those lies become our identity and our identity the lies. 

Lately I have been more careful about what crosses the corridor of my mind 

and what I do to hold its attention.

Enough defeat is enough.

And I will do what I can to guard against it, to renew my mind daily!

Not out of perfectionistic captivity, but out of love for the Lord of my life,

who has promised an abundant life,

when I am living under His Lordship. 

Romans 12:2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. 

Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is. 

His good, pleasing, & perfect will.

The Wilderness

Through the years, I have experienced many seasons of being in the wilderness, spiritually.

As tough as those times are to walk through, God is showing me three big things about them right now.

1. He uses time in the wilderness in an unreal way!

2. He is with me in the wilderness.

3. It is I that veers off the path, because He is the path. 

Often times, in the midst of the wilderness, the enemy convinces us it is our permanent home and if you checked Webster's for the definition of "lonely," you would find our name inscribed right there on the pages. 

But I am learning such the opposite is true!

The words in Deuteronomy 2 jumped right off the pages and I had to share:

(v. 7) "He knows your going through this great wilderness...God has been with you. You have lacked nothing."

God's Word never ceases to amaze me.

He knows, y'all. He so knows what we are going through.

In fact, He spent time in the wilderness too, He suffered and was tempted there.

He not only knows, but He is there with us. 

And we need nothing!

This truth can bring peace in the midst of any wilderness. 

The King of Kings is with you, beloved!

The Spirit has also been showing me that it is not He that forgets me, but I Him.

In Deuteronomy 8:13, God even warns against this: "Take care lest you forget the Lord your God."

This got me.

How many times have I questioned the presence and power of the Lord, when all along He's saying, "Daughter, I did not move or forget, it was you."

My prayer this morning is that I may never forget, never move from this place.

He is so faithful, may I too keep my eyes glued on my eternal dwelling, my Heavenly Father. 

Balance Is A Bunch Of Bologna

Does your personality almost drive you towards a crammed schedule?

Does your perfectionism push you to never having a moment of rest?

Do you believe it is your duty to remain busy?

I use to.

People would always tell me, "Now, Jordan, you know you are going to burn out."

Yes, when I do things that I want to do, on my own time, in my own strength, simply for the sake of being 'the girl with the full schedule,' yes, I am asking to crash and burn.

I mean crash and burn.

Do I sound like I might be speaking from experience?

It's because I am.

Today, at You Lead Day 2, I got a new perspective on business. 

And here are a couple things I took away:

1. Business can result in barrenness.

2. Business is NOT NOT NOT a bad thing.

3. Balance is a bunch of bologna.

4. Jesus was busy, tired, always on the move, lived a full life in the ministry.

5. But there must be non-negotiables for busy women.

I have been trained to feel guilty for being busy and feel inadequate when I am not.

No more!

Oh, and long gone are my days of striving for "balance."

Jesus has called us to the abundant life, not the balanced life.

If abundant, in His plan for you means busy, that is NOT a contradiction.

It simply means that you must be in synch with the Lord at all times, in all you do.

It means having non-negotiables in your life!

I heard it broken down like this:

Categorize your schedule "based God's 'O-W-N' plan for you."

O - Ought

W - Want 

N - Need

What are the things you ought, want, and need to do?

One thing, for certain, is that time for God must ALWAYS remain an "ought" to, a priority, a non-negotiable.

Because our business will turn into barrenness if we do not stay in synch with Him, in rhythm with Him.

There is much for us to do, y'all. 

Business almost makes sense.

But only if there is Kingdom purpose behind it all. 

Stay in it it.

Exhausted but exhilarated is not a bad way to end some days!